Look, it doesn't mean much to anyone else, I know,
But I would rather have a tooth pulled than pick up a hammer. I'm stupid with a screwdriver, and the less said about my drill skills, the better.
The ugly fact is that I am a Mechanical Moron.
Or so I thought.
Last week I managed to achieve this..
See that humble screw? Flush, mate. And securely fastened to the wall with a PLUG. Requiring the use of a DRILL.
Isn't there some kind of brownie badge I should be getting for that?
I admit, this job was not without it's Moment of Doubt, one where I seriously thought I would have to spend the rest of my days with a jammed drill bit protruding from the wall like Excalibur, and the operation generally, I must confess, was a little reminiscent of a Marx Brothers sketch, but hey.....SCREW IS IN.
Resulting in this...
We now have Adequate Lighting in the bathroom, and we are no longer applying facecream and makeup in the the light-equivalent of the family crypt.
But the DIY storm doesn't end there, oh no.
Flushed with success, and no doubt a tad over-confident, I then ambitiously - foolishly - attempted the assembly of one of those DIY kits from Aldi.
8 hours later, I had this...
Now, if you are thinking quietly to yourself that you'd like one of these trolleys for your kitchen, THINK AGAIN. What looks like an innocent little kitchen bench on wheels (for your easy stowing away convenience), is in fact a Bitch Demon from the Deepest Bowels of Hell in disguise. Even the emergency intervention of blokey blokes couldn't help me with this one, it completely stumped them. God him/herself couldn't have helped me, the parts were so dodgy, the workmanship so slack. At the very least, do not even consider attempting it with less than two pairs of hands. Wah'Allah hi, I will never buy shit like this from Aldi again. Seriously, it would be less trouble to build it from scratch.
That said, I'm pretty chuffed that it's done, for now I have somewhere level to work in the kitchen (collapsing floors notwithstanding). My benches are undulating waves of ancient, warped and lifting formica, overhung with cupboards placed hilariously at knock-out height. There's only so many resounding smacks to the forehead a girl can take over the course of a day, and I'd had just about enough.
Stay tuned for my next adventure: The Dynabolt.
Yes, Miss P, I'm looking at you...