So falling grievously ill does have an upside.
Getting sick sets you fair and square on your ass. From said ass-position, you can see the way you live your life, clear as a bell. You're obliged to consider the violence that you've no doubt (and this is important) been doing to yourself. In cases of severe illness it reminds you, tediously but in no uncertain terms, that you are in fact mortal, and that you might want to be getting your shit together about living right because this whole Life Deal is finite, dontcha know, I've told you a thousand times, I don't know why I bother... etc etc...
And it is in recognition of this fact that I am crafting again. Seriously crafting. Making anything, starting a thousand projects, not worrying about what anything will become, if I can make it earn money, or even if it's any good.
Realising that it's what I do.
Remembering who I am.
You'd be surprised how easily I forget.
I forget that if I don't create, or give myself room to think creatively, to see the world as a creative possibility, live my life in a creative space...
I get sick.
That if I don't do my yoga practice, listen to my body and give it what it needs...
I get sick.
I'm talking really, really, life-threateningly, kick-ass fucken sick.
It's embarrassing how not rocket science this is, but I'd like a dollar for every time I've had to re-learn it.
No more schlepping. No more expending my energy on back-aching, heart-breaking, poorly paid, shit jobs. No more using my body like a machine, and pretending to myself and the world that I'm twenty and unbreakable. That I can work like a dog and keep up, it's just a case of mind over matter.
I'm much older than twenty and (it's official) my metabolism is shattered.
We held a House Meeting, the kid, the dog and I. We agreed that the first and most important lesson here is to follow your heart and do what makes you happy (the dog was emphatic on this point). Secondly, that the Universe will provide (Mym's contribution, equally heartfelt). Together, we decided that we can turn living modestly into an Art Form. That we will lower our carbon footprints and see just how little we can consume, how little money we need to live. We will regard it as a CHALLENGE (my attempt at positive spin, let's see just how bloody challenged the kid feels when she needs those new Doc Martens).
Finally, before we adjourned to de-brief with teddy bear biscuits and an Audrey Hepburn movie (how hard can life be?), the House noted also that we trust in and treasure the ongoing support of our friends and family, which has been bewilderingly forthcoming and generous. You are AWESOME and we LOVE you.